VINNIE SAYS
If you don't have the stones to tell your
friends straight, allow me to intervene.
I'm Vinnie and if you're here, it can only mean one thing - somebody's been messing around with your biscuits. And if that's the case, maybe it's time I made a call before things get serious.
Is some schmuck plying you with cheap, inferior biscuits? Maybe you know someone who's a little shy with the kettle? Well allow me to intervene.
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Vinnie says in response to some of your questions...
What's your last name?
Dale Watson
Last names are for tombstones and charge sheets - and I don't plan on either anytime soon.
Are you married?
Stuart Caine
That information is between me and my wife, if I had one, which I don't. Capisce?
What's your favourite gangster film?
Dan Boscaro
I don't know why you would ask me about this type of film, but if you're asking, I'd have to say The Godfather. It's a nice family movie.
What do you think of the Meerkat?
Jonathan Fletcher
He seems like a stand up guy and I'm all for encouraging international relations. I know people in the import export business.
What's your favourite biscuit?
Jordan Hill
I don't have one, I just reach in the cookie jar and see what I get. Of course, mine's stuffed with Fox's so the odds are stacked in my favor.
Are you a panda or a dog or what?
Ben Hooper
Where I come from a real man is not judged by his fur, but by where he's seated in a restaurant.
How old are you?
Dee Atkin
What sort of baloney question is this? How old are you? And if you'd like to make it one more, you'll keep those questions to yourself.
Do you have any children?
Richard Hillam
Not to my recollection, but hey, I can't remember every steak I ate neither.
Can I buy a toy version of you?
Nic Oram
Can you buy me, like I'm a toy for your amusement! Get out of here.
What type of business are you involved in?
Mark Lambert
I've got lots of different professional businesses interests - mainly security and quality, second hand goods.
How do you keep yourself in such top nikker eating all of those Biscwits? Can you spill the beans?
Lisa Ferneyhough
Good genes I guess, plus I play a little baseball... usually one on one.
Could you offer any tips on how to wash a furry Panda? Do you just bung it in the washing machine, or whack it a few times with a carpet beater or what?
Barry Wright
When I need to take care of a delicate situation such as this, I like to beat it, then whack it, then dunk that sucka straight in the drink - of course, these days I tend to use the family cleaner.
Just out of interest, is it hard to type on a computer keyboard with your paws? Or do you type delicately using claws?
Rebecca Jesson
Typing with paws is easy. Much easier than, let's say, typing with your hands behind your back in the trunk of a car ... now ain't that something to think about.
Can I book you for a live spot at my grandmas 91st birthday party? She's one lively bird and would love to meet you. She's very much into tea and biscwits.
Alan Hay
Your old lady seems like a real hoot - but I ain't no party clown, so here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna go out and buy that old broad a mink stole, a bottle of moonshine and a packet of the good stuff - and wish her all the best from Vinnie. Capisce?
Vincenze- are you Sicilian, Calabrese or Napolitane?
Michael Matkovic
I'm American and I've got the paperwork to prove it. Any claims that I came over on a biscuit boat and have been operating with anything less that kosher credentials is a load of bull. What is it with you people?
Was Tony Soprano modelled on you?
Rob Atkin
Don't you think that if they were to model someone on me, they might have given him my trademark good looks.
You're obviously a panda of taste, what colour would you paint a bathroom?
Katy Stephenson
It's funny you should ask. I've just had the decorators in (minor explosion, nothing to worry about) and I chose Italian marble - not that effect rubbish, I mean the real deal.
Who'd win in a fight - you or Rocky Robin?
Richard Salguero
Rocky's a good friend of mine, so it would never happen - he used to, how should I say, persuade people to repay loans. But hypothetically speaking, I wouldn't fancy my chances - he's got those crazy eyes.
Vinnie you don't act like a goth... the black eyes thing... just coinsidence ???
Debi Birt
If you had to worry about the things I have to worry about, you'd have a sleepless night or two yourself.
When can I get a small squishy version of you?
Sarah Hilton
As yet, there ain't no 'squishy version' of me - as soon as some fall of the back of a truck, I'll be sure to let you know.